Are you a clock-watcher?

The CEO of Andy Roddick Foundation, Mr. Richard Tagle, talked about his work with the Austin-based Non-Profit Organization. I was inspired of what they do and how they are changing the life of every child by supporting and providing them with opportunities. What struck me the most though is the part of question and answer where he was asked about his non-negotiables. He said that his work has to drive his passion. This made me question myself. What are my non-negotiables?

For almost 4 years that I am working at the same company, I’m starting to hate my job. Don’t get me wrong, I have a good job. It pays well, maybe even more than other companies. Yet, every single day I wake up, I dreaded going to work. When I am already at work, I always ask why the clock seems to be moving too slow.

I know most of us hate our career and maybe we are only doing our job for the money. I, for one, am one of those people who just drag herself to work and try to get through every single day. I’m even known to be the clock-watcher who counts down the time and clocks out as soon as 5 p.m. strikes.

For most of us, no matter how much we wanted to quit, we have no courage to do so because our job is what supports our family; it is our bread and butter. It could be easy for other people to say, “Pursue your passion. If you love your work, you won’t feel like you’re working at all.” In reality though, pursuing a passion is terrifying and will not provide enough. Some may even say it is worse than being in a job they hate.

For people like me who feel stuck in a dreadful job, or feel unfulfilled, disconnected, and want to escape a dead-end job, I did these two simple things to help me in finding a career I love:

 

1.     Think about your true passion

I listed down all the things I want to become when I was a child. I also included the things that gives spark to my life. I thought of myself. What skills do I want to use and what skills am I good at? I tried to do what’s on my list and tried to find a crossover. Since there is a pandemic and I can’t try everything, I started with the simplest things. I used to dream of becoming a chef, then I tried cooking for my family. I hated it and I realized it’s not my passion anymore. So that’s crossed off my list. I am always fascinated with meeting different nationalities and learning different cultures from traveling. Since I can’t do that, I tried studying languages online. I loved it. Maybe soon enough, I will be the one teaching languages to other people, and I will do it with passion.

Find what gives meaning to your life, even if the job doesn’t exist yet. The career you want may not be existing today but who knows, you might be the one to start it. Think of the influencers we have now.

 

2.     Write your keep-list and drop-list.

I thought of what I can do to pursue my passion without ever going broke. I wrote the things that will make me closer to achieving my goal as well as the things I need to stop doing. For someone like me who is single and does not have any dependents, my drop-list include the latest gadget, the trendiest clothes and whatever is on sale. I wrote that I need to drop these things for me to save because once I am able to save enough, I can quit my job and pursue my passion. I won’t be scared that I won’t have money to pay the bills or fill my stomach. For other people, their drop-list may also include watching Netflix and scrolling through social media. Instead of wasting time online, use the time to watch inspiring videos or listen to podcasts. This is a keep-list. Inspirational videos will not only motivate us to pursue our passion but also help us become an expert on the field we want to pursue.

I know not everyone can do these. For those who are breadwinners of the family or those who have kids to take care of, there’s still a chance to write a keep-list and drop-list. Some may say that they’re too busy that they don’t have time, but I think doing what gives meaning to your life, even just for the weekends will make a difference.

Sometimes you may feel like you are like a hamster in a wheel, constantly running without getting anywhere. I feel that too, but I realized I need to take time to stop, look around, and think of what I love. Yes, turning your passion into a paycheck is difficult but if it’s really your passion, you won’t feel like it is a hard work and instead you will be motivated to do it.

 

EQ vs. IQ

 

Which is more important? Is it the intelligence quotient or the emotional quotient?

IQ as defined by Merriam-Webster dictionary, is the proficiency in or knowledge of a specified subject, whereas EQ is defined by Harvard Business School as the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as recognize and influence the emotions of those around you. In simple terms, I would like to define IQ as book smart and EQ as street smart. 

My takeaway from Mr. Calixto Chikiamco, founder and CEO of MRM Studios Inc., is that EQ is more important than IQ. In fact, EQ is worth twice as much as IQ and technical skills combined when it comes to business and hiring people. 

To run a successful business, it is not enough that you offer good products and services. You also need to build and maintain a good relationship with your clients. Business is all about relationships and it is critical that employees working for you have the ability to build rapport and manage interpersonal relationships easily. People who can communicate and manage relationship effectively are those with high emotional intelligence. They are the reason behind every business’ growth.

I believe in the saying “Employees make or break the business”. Employees are the core of every successful business. Some may say that the profit of a business comes from the customers, but it also depends on the productivity of the employees. Therefore, it is important that businesses hire candidates with high EQ as they will not only thrive in the workplace but also promote a positive workplace culture. People with high EQ can drive high performance and stay calm under pressure. Besides, an emotionally intelligent employee can become better at a lot of things. He will strive for continuous improvement to stay on top and therefore can outperform smart people. Moreover, people with high IQs don’t necessarily make great employees because they can’t handle failure effectively. Conversely, those with high EQs can easily recover from setbacks. They can be resilient and can manage anxiety, stress, anger, and fear in pursuit of a goal. Furthermore, they have a deeper level of empathy and therefore can be more responsive in a less reactive behavior. They are positive and motivated people who do not become defensive when criticized and instead utilize criticism and other feedback for growth which will allow the business to grow bigger. This is why recruiters usually asks applicants with situational interview questions instead of technical questions to determine how they can maturely reveal their emotions. It only goes to show that EQ is a much more powerful indicator of success than IQ.

I used to think that obtaining the highest degree of education is the key to success. However, after hearing the guest speaker, I realized that being book smart does not equal to success. I realized that in order to attain your goals and be successful in life, you should also be emotionally intelligent. Having a high EQ means you have a healthy sense of self- awareness and you can understand your own strengths and weaknesses. If you recognize yourself, you know how your behavior will affect not only your performance but those around you. 

Empty your cup

 

“You need to empty your cup if you want fresh tea.”

This is my takeaway on the previous talk with guest speaker and Shell’s CEO Mr. Dean Aragon. This proverb came from a story about a scholar who had sought for help and wisdom from a very wise Zen master. During their conversation, he continuously interrupted the Zen master as he was already convinced of his own opinions and that he had his mind completely full of his own views. The Zen master suggested they have a cup of tea together and poured the scholar a tea on his cup until it overflowed and spilled onto the floor. The scholar was surprised that he was continuously pouring more tea, so he asked him to stop as the cup is already full. The Zen master smiled and replied: “Empty your cup,” and added that nothing more can be absorbed if he has full of ideas and convictions and doesn’t empty his cup.

To “empty your cup” means that you need to unlearn things before you can learn new stuff. Every day, the same story happens. Many of us do not take new thoughts and opinions because we think we already know so much. We don’t accept feedback because we think we already figured out everything. We don’t fill our cup because we feel that it is already full. Similarly, some traditional leaders refuse to take new ideas, suggestions, and constructive criticism not only because they believe in their position of authority but also because they think they are the smartest in the room with their credentials. However, even the smartest person with the highest IQ still have weaknesses and areas of improvements. As a leader, if you think you are the smartest in the room and doesn’t take other’s opinions, soon enough you will be the only guy in the room because nobody would want to listen to you. As a good and collaborative leader, you should humbly listen and learn from others. You should always embrace a new state of mind, and fresh mentality, as well as be willing to change your preconceptions. This is the way to lead correctly as you will be able to do what’s best for the organization you are serving. To be a good leader, you should encourage ideas from others and be open to being challenged. You should let go of what you think you know to relearn what you need to know. Having people who will contradict your assumptions will not only help you further improve and broaden your perspective, but it will also help you in making smarter decisions and even expand on future possibilities.

In today’s fast-changing world, adopting a learner’s mindset is required to stay relevant. We should consider opinions and feedbacks as gifts. To lead and guide people and the organization to grow and innovate, we should constantly empty our cups from the old and seek to fill it with new and fresh tea.

The story of the two wolves

 

Have you heard the story of the two wolves? It’s about an old Cherokee who told his grandson about the fight between the black and the white wolf. On the first battle, he told his grandson that the black wolf will win the fight. On the next battle, he told his grandson that the white wolf will win. Out of curiosity, his grandson asked him why he seemed to know who will win the fight. The old man simply answered: “The wolf you feed is the wolf who wins.”

 

This parable seemed to be ancient but it’s actually my first time hearing it. Upon learning the story from our guest speaker Ms. Rosemarie B. Ong, the SEVP and COO of Wilcon Depot, I realized that the story serves as an important reminder of the power we have over our emotions. The white wolf is the one who reminds us of our strengths, accomplishments, and aspirations while the black wolf is our inner critic. The one who tells us that we are a failure and the one who triggers our anxiety and depression.

 

When I heard the story, I realized that I was feeding my black wolf. I realized that for the past few weeks I was criticizing myself and overthinking too much to the point that I’m losing my focus on the important things. My depression and anxiety were apparent in my work as I became lazy that my manager was calling out my tardiness and the unenthusiastic sound of my voice during our meetings. After the session with Ms. Rosemarie B. Ong, I realize that I need to stop feeding my black wolf and start giving attention to my white wolf. I have to use my energy on healthy thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

 

But the question is, how do I feed the white wolf? Most of the time, it’s much easier to feed the black wolf – to complain, to procrastinate, and to give up. It is more difficult to feed the white wolf because it requires discipline, motivation, and determination. It takes effort and courage knowing that it does not produce immediate results.

 

For most of us, it is easier to entertain the black wolf. We complain about our weight instead of eating a healthy diet and working out. We complain that we hate our job instead of quitting and following our passion. We complain that we’re broke when we don’t spend our money wisely. We get depress because of everything we see on social media instead of limiting our screen time. Moreover, the cases of depression have even tripled during the pandemic.

 

There is no shame in admitting that we are struggling mentally. It is normal to feel anxious, worried, and stressed. What is not okay is to constantly entertain our dark thoughts. At the end of the day we need to ask ourselves, will feeding the black wolf do us good?

 

With my answer, I started writing in my journal again and listed down the habits I have to develop in order to drift away from my negative thoughts. They say it takes 21 days to develop a habit, so I set my alarm and slowly complete the below tasks:

1. Practice gratitude – I try to write even the simplest thing I’m grateful for such us waking up to a brand-new day. If we do this every day, it will jumpstart our mood.

2. Meditate and Pray – I honestly didn’t know how this is effective until I tried it. I was looking for ways to clear my mind and a good 20-minute sitting cross legs with my eyes closed made a huge difference. It refreshed my mind compared to the 20-minute scrolling in social media which gives more anxiety. Aside from meditating, leaving my worries to God surprisingly lifts the heaviness in my heart.

3. Exercise – Sweating for at least 30 minutes is known to release endorphins and improve our mood.

4. Write goals – Writing your to-do list and being able to check it will give inspiration to do more.

5. Read motivational books or empowering quotes – Sometimes, we can’t help but surrender to the power of negativity but reading inspirational books can help us shift to a positive mindset.

 

I know feeding the white wolf is a difficult process, but it is rewarding once we give it our full attention that is why developing a habit will make it easier. 

Teamwork makes the dream work

One of the highlights of the e-Service Learning for me was being able to know my groupmates very well. We were already friends from our previous classes, but I came to know them on a deeper level because of our project with COSCA. My group and I never experience any sort of conflicts because we listen and respect each other’s opinions and suggestions. I remember when our e-Service Learning started, we couldn’t decide on what project will become valuable to the community of SAMLOK so we weighted the pros and cons of each member’s suggestion. I feel very fortunate to have been able to be a part of an amazing team. I don’t think I can clearly and comfortably communicate and share my ideas if I am with a different team. What I like most about our team is that if someone is not able to fulfill his responsibility for some reason, someone volunteers right away to accomplish the task that is why our team is able to function effectively. If someone is not available, everyone is willing to adjust until we set an agreed time for our virtual meeting. I am especially grateful for my teammates as they understand how heavy the workload I have and how conflict my schedule is. I am taking four subjects this term while working a full-time job so whenever I tell them I am unable to attend our Zoom meeting or I can’t accomplish a certain task such as to check the prices of our “May Ipon Ako” kit, they helped me accomplish the task instead. In return of the favor, I helped with other tasks such as finishing our Case Study early to ensure that I have equal participation with the group. There are times that we encounter stressful situations especially when requirements from other subjects have the same deadline with our assignments and journal entries in our Business Ethics subject, but we make sure to cheer each other up and help as much as we can. This made us become even closer friends.

The e-Service Learning made me realized that teamwork is different with groupwork. The latter is about working towards one goal that is accomplished individually while the former is also about working towards a common goal but involves coordination and commitment with each other. I can say that we our able make a teamwork which what made our project successful. Indeed, teamwork makes the dream work!

The Maimpok na SAMLOK project is a great learning experience for me as I have been able to collaborate and work with a team of hardworking students. I would have enjoyed this a little more and we could’ve bonded more if my group was able to go together to the SAMLOK community in Lian, Batangas. Nonetheless, I can say that this group project felt rewarding because albeit we were not able to interact with the people of SAMLOK, we are at least able to make a difference by promoting awareness on saving money.

Maimpok na SAMLOK

Samahan ng Mandaragat sa Sulok Fisherfolks Association or SAMLOK is an organization of fishermen in Lian, Batangas. Their primary source of income are pet fishes or ornamental fishes that can be kept in aquariums. Since they are in a remote area, their income resources are very limited. For this reason, our group decided to promote financial literacy awareness to the community of SAMLOK through the “May Ipon Ako” project. The project intends to educate SAMLOK community of the importance of budgeting and saving money, so they have a source of fund in case untoward events happen. Since the COVID-19 pandemic restrict us from visiting them, a “Maimpok na Samlok” video was provided to reach them out and as our way to encourage them to save money. The video is very detailed that it also includes different stages of a person’s life (single, married, and retired) which aims to tell them that no matter how old they are, they can still save for their future. The short video also discussed different government programs and institutions accessible to them. Different programs such as P3, Magna Carta law, and SHFC (Social Housing Financial Corporation) can help them if they wish to start a business or if they dream of having their own home. The group believes that poverty is not a hindrance and it doesn’t mean that they can never be successful, rather it is a challenge to them. We want to influence them, change their mindset to a positive one, and let them know that they can still prepare for their future even though they have limited resources. In addition to the video, we gave them mini booklet to record the money they are able to save and to check if they are reaching their goals. We also gave them pouches where they can put the money they saved. This project with SAMLOK does not only aim to raise awareness on financial literacy but also help decrease their stress and anxiety on where to find funds in case of calamities or emergencies.

Our project with the community of SAMLOK did not only teach them the importance of saving money but also taught me to value money. Oftentimes, we tend to live beyond our means and compromise our savings to cover for overspending. As for me, I tend to spend on little things, thinking that it won’t make a big difference. In reality, if these little things add up, it could cost more. I realize that there are many underprivilege people, and I am fortunate enough to have different sources of funds when I need it so I should not take this for granted.

We don’t have a control over what can happen to us. Even the richest man can still go broke or bankrupt if he is not able to manage his money properly, so it is very important to save money no matter how big or small it is so we can prepare for the future.

It’s too bad though that we were not able know the community and interact with each one of them. We could’ve have understood their situation better and learn more from them. I hope that after the pandemic I will be given an opportunity to visit them even if I am done with my Business Ethics class.

The Doll Test

(On International Declaration of Human Rights)

In the 1940s, to research the psychological impact of segregation on African-American children, psychologists Kenneth and Mamie Clark conducted a series of experiments call “The Doll Test”. The doctors used fours identical dolls with its color being the only difference to test children’s racial perceptions. Children ages three to seven were asked which doll is beautiful and which do they think has a good trait. Surprisingly, the African-American children prefer the white doll and associated brown-skinned dolls with the words ugly and bad.

According to the doctors, this experiment shows that racism creates a feeling of inferiority. It can affect the hearts and minds of a person and damage self-esteem.

Almost 10 decades after the experiment was done, the world is still full of prejudice. There is so much prejudice that oftentimes it influences our judgement. We start to think that black is bad, and if someone is black, then he/she is bad. If someone is white, then he/she is a superior human being created by God. This is why there are innumerable instances wherein black people were killed in the United States hence the Black Lives Matter movement. But let’s not go very far. In a case of a Filipino, if we hear someone speaking in a Bisaya diction, we often think that these people are uneducated, ignorant and only went to Manila to become a helper/nanny or security guard. But what about Miriam Defensor Santiago who was very smart, courageous and fought against the corruption in the Philippines?

Additionally, if we see Muslims, we often associate them with terrorism. We are even terrified to travel to Mindanao when the fact is only some parts of Mindanao have a conflict with the government and most part of the island is beautiful, much like Boracay and Palawan. Siargao and Davao, for instance.

In the workplace, stereotyping is also common as graduates of four big schools are given higher compensation than those from other schools albeit both have the same experience and qualifications.

In the province, it is also common that most women are deprived of education because they are expected to take care of the children and her family instead of working and providing for the family.

Also, I still encounter times where LGBTQ are being discriminated and people telling them they are “Salot sa Lipunan” or burden of the society when most have become an inspiration and made an impact to the society.

The Article 2 on United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights made me realize that we are all equal and we cannot make people of a race, color, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status/background feel inferior.

Black people don’t have to die for us to start a Black Lives Matter movement. Gays and lesbians don’t have to experience pervasive discrimination to start Pride Parade. But I guess this is what we need to start valuing diversity and inclusion. Though I do hope that people will not only raise awareness on racial and gender discrimination but also on religion because Muslims are always being viewed as terrorists. In movies, we see them as the villain or those who kill. I just hope no bad situation will happen for people to start realizing this.

I hope that people will be more open-minded and will stop discriminating as this can affect a person’s physical, spiritual, and psychological well-being. I hope when The Doll Test is conducted again, children will be able to answer that white doll and black doll are both beautiful.